Extreme Croquet Rules, Dude!
Rule 1: All players must have at least three mallets at all times. If a mallet is lost, the player must replace it or be penalized.
Extreme Croquet is not for the faint of heart. It's for those who dare to be bold, who refuse to be silenced.
Players must be prepared for anything, including but not limited to: extreme weather conditions, hostile mallets, and existential dread.
Rule 2: Mallets may not be used for personal gain, except in extreme cases where the player is attempting to break the record for most mallet-based injuries sustained in a single game.
Rule 3: All players must wear extreme sports gear, including but not limited to: flame-resistant pants, reinforced steel-toed shoes, and a fireproof jumpsuit.